★★★ WELCOME 2 MY HOMEPAGE ★★★ BEST VIEWED IN NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR 4.0 AT 800x600 ★★★ PLZ SIGN THE MAILING LIST ★★★

🍦 ICE CREAM SANDWICH MATRIX CAMPGROUND ⛺

🔥 WHERE THE FROZEN DAIRY IS REAL AND THE SPOON IS NOT 🔥

🍦⛺🔥🌴🔒🍦⛺🔥🌴🔒🍦⛺🔥🌴🔒🍦⛺🔥🌴🔒🍦⛺🔥🌴🔒🍦⛺🔥
[ MAILING LIST ] [ THE LORE ] [ CAMPING TIPZ ] [ GUESTBOOK ] [ MY AWARDS ]

💻 SYSTEM MESSAGE 💻

^^^ 100% HAND CODED CSS ICE CREAM SANDWICH ^^^
(do not right click, it is copyrighted)

🔄 WAKE UP, CAMPER... 🔄

You have been sleeping in a tent inside a simulation this whole time. The good news: the ice cream sandwiches down here are UNLIMITED.

✉ JOIN THE MAILING LIST ✉

** FREE!!! NO SPAM (probably) **

UR E-MAIL ADDRESS:

CHOOSE UR PILL:

FAVORITE SAMMICH FLAVOR:

UR CAMPING STYLE:

Your e-mail is stored in a REAL PostgreSQL database on a REAL computer somewhere in the woods.

📈 VISITOR COUNTER 📈

000000

CAMPERS JACKED IN SO FAR
(u could be next!!)

🔥⛺🌳

TONIGHT'S FORECAST: 74° AND FULL OF CODE

🍦 SANDWICH LEVELS: CRITICAL 🍦

🔒 AGENT SMITH SPOTTED NEAR SITE #7

🌴 BEARS: 3   BEARS WEARING SUNGLASSES: 1

⛺ MARSHMALLOW SUPPLY: NOMINAL

🔭 THERE IS NO SPOON. BRING A FORK.

📜 THE LORE 📜

🟢 In 1999 a lone camper unplugged the wrong extension cord at Campsite 404 and discovered the whole forest was rendered at 15 frames per second.

🟢 The only food that survives outside the simulation is the ICE CREAM SANDWICH, because its two cookie layers form a natural firewall.

🟢 We now run a campground on the edge of the render distance. There are s'mores. There is bullet time. There is one very confused park ranger.

>> FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT (it stole a sandwich) <<

⛺ CAMPING TIPZ OF THE DAY ⛺

  1. Always pack TWO coolers: one for food, one for denial.
  2. If the same deer walks past twice, it is a GLITCH. Do not feed it.
  3. Dodge raindrops like bullets. Works 4% of the time.
  4. A campfire is just a very slow loading bar.
  5. Never eat the last ice cream sandwich. That's how they find you.

🏕 🏖 🚴 🥾 🍦

📝 GUESTBOOK (READ ONLY, SORRY) 📝

[08/14/99] Trin1ty_88 > this site is SO kewl!!! the sandwich spins!!!
[08/15/99] M0rpheus > what if i told you... the cooler was never plugged in
[08/17/99] tent_dad_42 > came for camping tips stayed for dessert. 5 stars
[08/19/99] AgentSm1th > Mr. Anderson. You left the marshmallows out.
[09/02/99] xXcamperXx > my modem melted but it was worth it
[09/11/99] ranger_bob > please stop rendering fires in my park
[10/31/99] sk8rd00d > DOES ANYONE HAVE THE MIDI FILE FOR THIS

Sign the guestbook by joining the mailing list, it's the same thing basically.

🏆 MY AWARDS 🏆

⭐ COOL SITE
OF THE DAY 🔥 HOT
SANDWICH
AWARD '99 🌳 BEST
CAMPGROUND
ON THE WWW 💻 Y2K
COMPLIANT
(maybe) 🔮 100%
REAL
SIMULATION

★★★★★

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🍦 THERE IS NO SPOON, ONLY SANDWICH 🍦 PITCH UR TENT IN THE MAINFRAME ⛺ SEE U AT THE CAMPFIRE 🔥

© 1998-1999 ICE CREAM SANDWICH MATRIX CAMPGROUND • Made with ❤ and Notepad
This page has been under construction since the dawn of the simulation.
📧 webmaster@thecampground.example • Last updated: FOREVER AGO